CAK Story
Keeping a very long story short, I lost my firstborn son Christopher Ashton Kessler at the age of 27, when he surrendered to his pain on September 25th, 2023. A beautiful, passionate and unbelievably brave soul, who was tragically burdened with severe mental health challenges after undergoing the removal of a brain tumor at the age of 15. For 12 years, he battled with psychosis, hallucinations and unnecessary burdens and sought constant help from countless doctors, therapists and psychiatrists. He fought desperately to normalize himself in hopes and wishes of becoming who he once was before his brain surgery. In the end, it was his daughter who remained the one shining light, giving him the strength to hold on as long as he did.
The loss of Ashton was devastating. I was overwhelmed with shock and grief, completely paralyzed by the pain. During the months that followed, I found myself struggling to keep my mind together, until one day I crocheted my first plushy, a cute little sloth for my granddaughter, who was Ashton’s greatest love.
While doing so I found that crocheting was the only positive task I could concentrate on. It was the one thing I could do mentally but more so physically without constantly losing my sanity and breaking down. After completion of this life changing sloth, I couldn’t stop. After a few more animals, I realized a crochet hook and ball of yarn was my new way to move forward in life. I found that it is my medicine, my coping mechanism, the thing that grounds me and a way to endure living in this world without my beloved child. Crocheting has become my absolute cure from falling into the rabbit-hole of depression, guilt and shame.
Ashton had a very special love for animals and creating these plushies made from a single string of yarn, would absolutely bring a huge smile to his face. Just imagining his beautiful smile, brings me to smile, shedding a moment of comfort and a small sense of peace, knowing that, in time, I will see him again.
Crochet Adorable Knots (C.A.K) is a tribute to my son - I dedicate this small business to my beloved firstborn and my forever hero. Ashton, you will forever live on through me.
~ Jaime Kessler-Bernier